guilt and sadness
What most people don't know about grief is that aside from experiencing immense sadness, you'll also be filled with endless guilt. The guilt of outliving the dead, of not being able to share with them the good things in life. Every time I experience a joyous occasion, I can't help but think that it would be so much better if my father is here with us. If only I could share this delicious meal with him. If only I could bring him in this lovely place.
"When someone you love dies you pay for the sin of outliving her with a thousand piercing regrets." — A Very Easy Death, Simone de Beauvoir